Single Mom Hunting

By Carleen Soule

Google “single moms hunting with kids” sometime, and you’ll find tips on job hunting, apartment hunting (not house; just apartment), vulgar hook-up advice, and the laughable “wives become ‘single moms’ during hunting season” snivel, but what is missing from the search results are pages for mothers who happen to be single and also happen to be hunters. I found advice for creating scavenger hunts, treasure hunts, Easter egg hunts (which I will probably never do again after scrolling through several pages of that mindless drivel), and hunting bargains, but nothing on deer hunting, duck hunting, shotgunning, or bowhunting from a single mom’s perspective. I stumbled upon an insulting and ignorant assertion that single-parent households can’t afford the time or money to hunt, but what I didn’t stumble upon was encouragement for single moms—or moms in general—to take their kids hunting.  The advice I read relating to kids was implicitly written for dads and experienced hunters.

To be fair, there are mentoring programs scattered across the U.S., but I did not come across any targeted toward moms teaching kids. There’s support for female hunters through BOW programs and a few scattered websites devoted to female hunters, but none of them discussed the hunt from a single mom’s perspective, and none mentioned anything female- and field-specific beyond tampons.

I see several dynamics at work when it comes to the lack of female-based teaching information:

1. Hunting has primarily been a male-populated activity. The number of new female hunters is growing, but is only a little over 1/10th of the total hunting population. The predominance of male hunters equates to ease in finding and sharing advice.
2. Hunters often grows up in a hunting household or are taken under wing by one, and the tradition of including youth has been learned through generations. Parents have their own experiences as kids to guide them, and it is from this perspective that most advice comes.
3. Hunters tend to be from traditional, married families, which renders built-in hunting partners, including spouses, FILs, BILs, and MILs. Families don’t need to venture much beyond their last name to share experiences and advice.
4. Married male hunters are very, very unlikely to take single females into the field.
   

   Carleen at the BOW archery workshop.

There are several dynamics that a woman, particularly a single woman, must contend with that a male probably does not (beyond tampons):

1. Feeling of vulnerability.
2. Inexperience/lack of mentor.
3. Lack of hunting partners.
4. Lack of advice mother to mother.
5. How to teach hunting to a child when the teacher is also learning.

While there is always safety in numbers, men are not deterred from hunting solo. Men express eagerness and excitement in including their child in the hunt. For some men, bringing their kids into the blind comes as naturally as bringing a Thermos of hot coffee. Their child becomes their hunting partner.

I am a first-generation hunter; my parents stopped hunting when I was 5. I have taken Hunter Education class. I have taken several BOW workshops. I have taken advantage of the educational opportunities available, most of which included guided hunts. I am excited about hunting. I am also intimidated by it. The act of driving to the country on rarely-traveled dirt roads and hiking through remote fields leaves me feeling very vulnerable as a woman. Put my son into that field next to me and the feeling of vulnerability is nearly paralyzing. Do men worry about crossing paths with unsavory characters? Do men fear being raped, or worse? Do men worry about how they would protect their child should they be overpowered? Paranoia comes as a package deal with the birth of a child, and the outcry against female hunters in recent social media doesn’t help. I try to tell myself that if someone drives past my truck parked at the entrance to a field, they’ll merely know that the field is being hunted. “Nobody’s going to know the hunter is female.” “Criminals are going to be driving around in the middle of nowhere looking for a victim.” “They’re looking for birds, just like me.” “From a distance, blaze orange neutralizes gender.” “I’m safe – they’ll assume there’s a dog afield.” “I’m armed.”

Do other women have these fears? How do they contend with the insecurity? Or am I being irrational in my concerns? Do other moms take their kids into the field just as men do without a second thought? Would a mom head out to a wooded draw with a 7 year old and a bb gun? What do dads discuss in terms of safety should he become injured and must rely on an 8-year old to get help? If I have to ask these questions, do I belong in the field at all? Who could address these gender-specific questions of safety?

I work for a conservation organization with close ties to the hunting community. Two years ago, I appealed to our EVP to initiate a mentored employee hunting program. The EVP was a good sport about it, but my director at the time let me know rather bluntly how he felt about my proposal. Time set aside for hunting can be very treasured, and sharing that time with a novice is not high on most hunters’ lists. Sharing that time with a female coworker is very high on the office list of Don’ts. Heading into the field with a friend’s hubby is generally socially taboo as well. I have a few single female friends who hunt, but they already have established hunting partners. I don’t hide my desire for hunting, and if they had wanted me along, I would be hunting right now. To compound matters, their purpose is to harvest. The purpose—and outcome—in taking a child into the field is quite different. So what’s a mom to do? The pool of female hunters is small, and ones in need of a hunting partner even smaller. And, as my beloved state is learning, 40-below does not keep out the riff-raff when the pay is near the 6-figure range. North Dakota has seen its share of crazy pour across the borders in recent years: rapes, kidnappings, murders, even nooses; and then there are the drugs that follow the money, which render anyone unpredictable. Our backyard isn’t so quiet these days; we don’t always know the neighbors anymore.

Are my fears justified, or are they the product of my imagination? Would other moms take their child out for a hunt without a spouse or friend? How did other single females and moms find hunting partners? What resources/programs have moms and new hunters utilized to guide them in teaching their kids to hunt? Where do women find mentors if there are no hunting relatives, willing coworkers or friends? I feel a responsibility to teach my child to hunt and it frustrates me that the resources are few and far between. I feel as though I am going to fail my child if I don’t start walking the walk.

Carleen majored in Biology with an Aquatic Emphasis and has worked for Ducks Unlimited since 2008. She lives in the heart of the Duck Factory and enjoys many opportunities to “go find some birds.” In addition to chasing waterfowl and upland birds, Carleen also enjoys fishing, camping, and bow hunting. She is the proverbial Soccer Mom, PTO President, and a member of the Bis-Man Stilettos – a service group in heels. Carleen is also a permaculture gardener and a rabid DIYer who is not afraid to try something she’s seen on TV. She’s looking forward to her first rifle hunt in the fall.